Month: September 2015
In the West yoga has been marketed as a system with many benefits, so I am not going to go into it in depth. We all know how yoga can enhance your mood, calm the nervous system and focus our attention, however, most of us also know that these benefits don’t last as long as we want them to last. Sometimes, moments after leaving a class the world will challenge you with a bombastic road user or a crisis at home. We are confronted with the same issues, problems and challenges once we leave a class, which leaves us frustrated and to an extent exhausted. It seems the more we want peace and harmony, the more the world would through the opposite to us. On your yoga mat and meditation cushion, yes we can taste the POTENTIAL for growth, we feel the peace and love and light and harmony, yet off the mat we encounter greater resistance. But how can we affect a more lasting change then?
I would frequently sit before a class and just talk to my yogis and if you listen carefully most of the time they complain about tension, stiffness or even pain in the hip area and sometimes they would refer to their chests and how tight it may be after a cold or flu. The hips and heart seem to be receptacles for frustration. “My hips are so tight!” people say, or “How do I open my chest—no matter how hard I try, it doesn’t seem to respond!” This is because much of our emotional issues are concentrated in the hips and heart. It seems to me the heart, chest and hips are receptacles for our painful memories, hurtful emotions and unresolved issues. But on the other hand they are also the founts from which creativity flow, so we express a need to open the heart and hips in order to open ourselves to connect more deeply with our bodies and innate creativity. And in this connection lies the solution to our sometimes very complex emotional states. This is the gift of yoga to you, greater awareness unravels the emotional issues, yes difficult at first, but transformational as we grow and continue of our yoga path.
THE ISSUES ARE IN OUR TISSUES
Yoga doesn’t rid us of our anxieties, our fears, our sorrows or our stress: it just creates awareness that we have these fears, anxieties, sorrows and stresses and if we stay long enough on the yoga path, we start to understand why we harbour these emotions, I call it: awareness that the issues are in our tissues. From a purely Western point of view, it may not make sense that we store our “issues in our tissues” for that Western medicine has alienated us from our bodies and why we have certain diseases and illnesses. However, from a spiritual point of view, it starts to make sense that our mind, body and emotions are inextricably linked. We are much more what we think rather than what we eat! However, we are always surprised when yet another issue arises just as we think we have now worked through it all. My yoga teacher, Sri Durga, used to call it stirring the coffee grounds. There is always something more, yoga seems to penetrate our membranes of defences to reach the deepest, most primitive layers of experience. So the practice of Yoga can feel like opening Pandora’s Box: a primal storehouse of memories, emotions and experiences awaits us. The problem is that this storehouse of memories, emotions etc. seem to evade us most of our life until we start to practice something like yoga which brings us within reach of the subconscious mind. And this is the power of yoga, it transforms us, yoga forces us to live in the present, to focus on what is now in front of us and to being mindful of the here and now.
Once our yoga practice starts to be more than just another set of exercise and we connect deeply with ourselves, our body, emotions and mind, in other words when the transformation starts, we are confronted with unexpected consequences. We seek peace, but yoga brings anger and disharmony, we see happiness, but yoga brings sorrow and sadness or we seek love and yoga brings us rage and anger! We all respond differently to what yoga throw our way, I have noticed two kinds of responses:
- The nervous system sounds the alarm and moves us into a fight or flight lockdown.
- Or, the emotional energy that comes surging forth from our depths creates a state of denial or cognitive disassociation.
Whatever option we choose, each one forces us in a different way to look at ourselves and to start to acknowledge that we are on a path of change, of self-healing and making peace with the story of our lives.
Every life on this planet is worth a book! We all have a story to tell and in that story there are different chapters, actors and scenes. We constantly move in and out between the different stories and scripts. Some is simple stories: my grandmother died when I was 10 years old – this is what this sadness is about. Or more complex: my partner is abusive, cold and emotionally distant, he/she isn’t taking care of me – why I feel such anger and frustration. Or another scenario might be: look how my teacher is assisting that person over there; I’m clearly not one of his/her favourite students – reason for my resentment and jealousy. Our story usually fits our mental and emotional patterns (or samskaras). And this is the amazing aspect of yoga, it creates awareness of the patterns and the reasons why we repeat these patterns so that we can mindfully start to change our mind and say: I am not my father or I am not this pattern I am repeating, I am not this anger, this rage, this jealousy or depression. Once we cognitively start to recognise and realise that we are just repeating old samskaras, then the healing, the transformation can start to happen.
We have this amazing power within us, the power to change our story. Change is the only constant we can be sure of, so instead of fighting change, why not accepting it lovingly into your life and see how different your life might become!
Unfortunately affecting this change in our lives doesn’t come easy, the Ego will try to dissuade you from change, from transformation, it will always try to navigate back to the old familiar patterns and this is the challenge: to change before the pattern become too deeply ingrained. Our mind has specific way to cope with the different stories in life, it likes to run away with a story, give it so many add-ons that we later become confused and in this chaos of confusion we start to repeat old patterns, fear, anxiety, anger, resentment etc. reach into the depths of our consciousness and takes residence there. The danger is that later we cannot remember what the original issue was! This coping mechanism of our mind and Ego lure us away from the original and deep emotion that needs our attention. In this way, it reinforces the very patterns that clearly contribute to our suffering. And it short-circuits the opportunity the story gives us: to go inward and root out the long-standing samskaras that cause us suffering.
This might sound like a cliché, but there is great truth in the statement of my life partner: “Let’s not confuse the issues here!” Whenever we have a difference we need to sort out and I would bring in too many other issues, he would call a time-out moment and remind me of this. It is hard not to bring in other narratives and even harder to focus all our attention on this one story in the here and now. It is human nature it seems to reach to the depths of our minds and to pull out old stories and trying to connect them to what is happening in the here and now. Staying present, being mindful of the moment are tools that can assist us on our path, it can help us to handle our stories better, resolving them quicker, reaching an understanding of the why and how on a deeper level of our being. So yoga is about inhabiting our bodies in a deep way and teaching us to be mindful.
HOW YOGA HELPS
I have written about this, but I am going to repeat it here again: I have this little experiment I do in my yoga classes to illustrate certain truths – I would ask my yogis do to a simple Tree Pose, focusing all their attention on that pose for that moment. Amazingly, when we breathe deeply, focus our attention and will, we can all do a well balanced Tree Pose. I would bring them out of the pose, ask them to feel what they have done and then I would do the other side. Once they are in the pose I would ask them to think about their day, their problems, work, money problems etc. and like clockwork they would all lose the balance and focus. Yoga helps us to sort the issues, by forcing us to be in the moment, focus on what is at hand and to do that well. In that way yoga transforms us, makes us more focused, looking at the issues one by one and transform each one over time.
Have you ever left home for yoga class or work or going to a friend and when you arrive at your destination you can’t remember through how many traffic lights you are or any detail of other cars or anything from your journey? Or sometimes you read a book and three pages later you can’t seem to remember anything that happened or what you have read the last three or four pages? Of course you have, we all have! These are common examples of “mindlessness,” or as some people put it, “going on auto-pilot.”
We are all subject to the bad and good habits of our minds and bodies, of attention and inattention, of being in the here and now or being totally absent busy living in the past or future. Wherever we are the result is a us not being present most of the time in our own lives. And the unfortunate part of this inattention can be costly, we can miss really good opportunities, or we may miss information about our lives, our relationships or even about our health! However there is a way out of this inattention, we call it mindfulness.
It is important to note that we all have the quality of being mindful and the ability to apply and practice it within us. It is not a special skill you have to learn, in fact it is something natural in us and we just need to re-establish the habit and pattern to be mindful within us. To practice mindfulness is to first of let go of the idea that you are good at mutlitasking and to accept that we as humans are programmed to do one thing at a time and then we do it really good, we do it with mindfulness. It is the quality of bare awareness that knows what is here in the present moment. Mindfulness knows what is going on outside, and also, inside our own skin. However we experience life, through whichever sense gate life comes to us – eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, even the mind itself – mindfulness is capable of knowing that seeing, or hearing, or smelling, or tasting, or feeling, or even thinking – is happening in this, the present moment.
Truly living in the present moment isn’t easy, but it is highly rewarding. The best way to move forward on your own path to “here and now” is to understand the potential obstacles and plan in advance how you’ll deal with them.
It is an ongoing effort
Mindfulness isn’t something that just drops out of the sky and voila there you have it! It takes time and effort and constant reminding to be in the here and now. However, the more you practice it, the easier it gets to get into the habit of being in the here and now. As with most things in life, your mind will be fearful initially and your thoughts will be chaotic, your life would seem out of control. Previously you would cook, eat, feed the baby and dog and cover your son’s books at the same time, now you do one thing at a time and it might feel you’re wasting time, but give it a chance. Your situation will feel out of control and even helpless, but the more you focus on being fully where you are, the easier it will be to find peace of mind in the moment.
My Tip: Start small, baby steps, do one thing good and complete it and then move onto the next. Mindfulness is best practiced throughout your day. It’s not just for when you sit down and meditate. Focus on being mindful of your thoughts when you’re doing everyday tasks and it will be easier to remain mindful when things get tough.
There will always be distractions
It seems to be a law of the Universe, as soon as we start a journey there always seems to arrive more challenges with that journey as well. The distractions could be problems in your life, drama in your relationships, or old negative beliefs popping up from your past. Try to see the opportunity in the challenge – simply put you have an opportunity to practice present moment awareness and that is great! Our challenges will help us to become stronger, more resilient and better in tune with yourself.
My Tip: See the challenges, the distractions and difficulties not as negatives, but as wise teachers in disguise! They are really there to help you grow and realise who you are!
Be patient – progress takes time
We live in a world where we are forced into thinking that everything works like a McDonalds! Truth is our world needs slowing down, needs time, a plate of food that took time and attention to prepare taste so much better than a fast food hamburger, not true? Same with your progress, it might seems slow and excruciating, but have patience. There will be times when you attach to things and situations that you want, which will make it difficult to be fully in the present moment.
My Tip: It’s impossible to be mindful when you’re dwelling on the past or obsessing about the future. We all do those things sometimes. I’ve experienced it countless times in my own life. The more I want something, the more I fixate on not having it and wanting to get it. Once I release the attachment and focus on being grateful for what I have in the moment, my life seems to shift, and progress seems to happen naturally.
Don’t give up!
Any journey has that moment where we just want to give up or turn around. But it is during the times when you feel most frustrated that you are often on the verge of a breakthrough. Our lives are very similar to the seasons. We go through cold, dark winters, and joyful, expanding summers. It all comes and goes. It’s the ebb and flow of life.
My Tip: Realise that life is sometimes easier and expansive and other times it is difficult and contracting again. But, as you become more mindful of the challenging times, you realise they are there to help you grow and in time you will feel more peaceful and relaxed.
Our goals muddle our mindfulness
Being goal driven and orientated in life is necessary and fantastic. And the problem is not with having goals, but that we can become so attached to the “outcome” of our goals that we forget to be mindful of getting there. And the more we focus on the outcome and attach to the outcome, meaning we live in the future, the more frustrated, angry and negative we get. Sometimes to the point where we feel everything and everybody is against us!
My Tip: Attachment muddles our clarity. You’re likely pursuing your goals because you believe the outcomes will make you happy and not because you enjoy the journey! When we allow our goals to pull us too much into the future or even the past, it is not a goal anymore, but a chore that makes you unhappy! Focus on that which you want to achieve now, it will make you much happier!
The journey is the destination
Like the example with which I have started this article, most of us are barely aware of the journey, we miss the fact that the journey IS the reward, the utopia we looking for! Have you ever noticed that the path to reach a goal is much more exciting and interesting than reaching the goal itself? When we are young we look forward to being older and wiser and want to be older, but when we reach the milestone of a certain age we had in mind, suddenly that milestone doesn’t seem so great, but the journey to get to lets say 50 was such a great one!
My Tip: It is in the journey that we learn, grow, and become better. When you’re practicing mindfulness, remember that there is nowhere to arrive at. If you focus on what is going on right now, the rest take care of itself.
Sometimes you’ll want to be anywhere but in the now
In my life I have been in the presence of many great teachers, my own teacher Sri Durga, Sri Satya Sai Baba, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, Swami Sahajananda of the Divine Life Society in South Africa and even they had to deal with difficult situations and chaotic thoughts from time to time. What I have learned from all of them is that it is easier to accept the moment for what it is than to fight it and trying to change it. When you do this, you become the guardian of your inner space and peace, which is the only way to feel good inside and find peace of mind, right now.
My Tip: Look to the journeys of those who went there before you and take inspiration from their journeys and know that your path will be full of opportunities to be great as well! It is up to you to recognise them!